Relationships aren’t as easy as they look in rom coms. They take a lot of work, and proper communication is key. So if you think you’re hella lucky because you’ve found that special person and you’re in a relationship now – don’t count your chickens just yet. If anything, staying in a relationship takes way more work than starting one. Now that you and your partner have agreed that you’re exclusive and committed to each other it’s not time to relax. In fact, it’s time to double the effort and effective communication.
Too many couples think that once they’re in a relationship – it’s gonna work on it’s own and last forever. But the truth is – relationships are fragile, and the smallest problems, issues and miscommunications over time can lead to horrible fights at best and heartbreak at worst. Today, let’s talk about 7 everyday behaviors that can harm your relationship.
Not Enough “Me” Time
Spending a lot of time together is completely natural once you’re in a relationship, but it’s important to have some time to yourself. You can’t spend every living moment with your partner and do absolutely everything together. It’s just not right. You both need time to breathe, relax and do your own thing. You both need some alone time to be with your thought, enjoy your separate hobbies and just have a chance to miss the other person. Just think about it, how can you look forward to seeing them if they’re always there? So make sure to schedule in enogh “me” time.
Making Them Hang Out With Your Friends
One of the most common issues in a relationship is fighting over who’s friends you’re gonna hang out with. Of course, the common solution would be to invite both sets of friends and hangout together, but that doesn’t always work. Instead, a lot of the time you end up making your partner hang out with your friends. It’s all fine and dandy and we get that you’re trying to make them feel included, but they have their own friends and they need to hang out with them too. In fact, here’s a greats solution that goes well with the previous issue of “me” time – how about you hang out each with your own friends once in awhile. It’ll give you both a chance to catch up with your buddies and you’ll have lots to talk about once you both get back home.
In the first days, weeks and even months of seeing someone, everything about them is new, interesting, exciting. We can’t get enough of them. Each little detail of their life and their personality is like a little treasure. We cherish it. But after a while that excitement wears off and you start thinking you know everything there is to know about the other person. You feel like you can almost predict their actions and responses, that’s how well you know them. So you stop paying as much attention when they’re speaking. That’s a huge issue, because even though you might think you’re not missing anything new, you might be missing the resentment your partner is building up for you. Hearing, but not really listening to your partner is bound to make them feel like they don’t matter to you. You don’t want that do you? So always listen – it’s crucial for a happy relationship.
Fights aren’t really unusual for any relationship. They release tension and let you work through issues. But once should never fight with their partner in public. Those fights never end well. In fact, we’d advise to staying away from putting your partner down in public, even in a joking manner. Perhaps when you’re at home you constantly joke about your partner’s inability to cook or stay tidy, or perhaps they’re clumsy, and they might laugh about it with you. But you never know how they might react when you mention these things in front of their friends or colleagues. They might be embarrassed by these things, or feel anxious about them. It’s always better to check what they’re comfortable with, or just stay away from mentioning these things in public.
Assuming They Can Read Your Mind
Assuming your partner can read your mind and therefore is just supposed to know when you’re feeling sad, angry, annoyed, etc and how to help you is a ridiculous notion, but some of us are definitely guilty of doing this. We think that since we’ve been in this relationship for a while and we know each other pretty well and therefore can just intuitively know what the other person is thinking and how they’re feeling. Well, it’s not always so. Your partner most likely doesn’t have magical powers and can’t read your mind. So it’s always better to talk things out, voice your thoughts, explain your feelings than to just brood and snap at your partner in hopes they just figure it out by themselves.
How many of you have found yourselves in a fight because of projecting your feelings onto your boyfriend or girlfriend? Too often we choose to blame others for how we feel instead of taking a step back and figuring out the true reason of your bad mood or hurt feelings. We say things like “you make me feel angry/annoyed/sad” instead of just saying “I feel angry/annoyed/sad”. There is a difference, you now? “You make me feel” accuses your partner, while “I feel” just states the fact. Make this small change and you’ll see exactly how much this can affect your relationship.
Being Overly Critical
There’s nothing wrong with some constructive criticism, but there’s a time and a place for it. And all day, every day is definitely not that time or place. It’s easy to fall into the habit of pointing out your partner’s faults all the time, especially when you live with them. Can you imagine how annoying it is to have someone criticize you from the moment you wake up? Just stop it. If something really bothers you, find a time when both of you are in the mood to talk and bring up your concerns. Don’t just shout criticism at your partner whenever they do something wrong.
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